A Dedication to My British Boyfriend

I would like to dedicate this next posting to a very special person in my life.


He is tall, good-looking and very talented at his craft.

He likes movies and sports.

He is funny.

And smart.

He particularly enjoys playing football.

He always makes me laugh.

He is none other than my charming British boyfriend.



Ladies and Gentlemen...

Chris Martin!

Despite the fact that he shares the same name as the lead singer of Coldplay, Chris has nothing in common with Mr. Paltrow. Chris and I met a few months ago in Norwich at a football match between the home team and Leeds United. I was casually watching the match when we met eyes. It was then that I knew we had a special connection.

Since Chris and I started dating, his accomplishments as a football player have skyrocketed. His first ever game with the team was in January 2007 and since then he has continued to make a mark for himself with the big boys.

Friends of mine have expressed concern with our relationship, describing it as "unhealthy", "stalker-ish" and "The Emm up to her old tricks".

Other "friends" of mine NEVER fail to mention the fact that Chris is only 18 and ALWAYS introduce him as "teenager, Chris Martin". I call these so-called friends "Sky Sports" and "The BBC".

Chris was recently chosen to represent England in the Under 19s for the European Championship and scored the winning goal in last night's match against Turkey. He must have been on such a high after the match as he forgot to call me so I could congratulate him. Don't worry though - I sent him a really cute text message telling him it was ok not to call me and the court has no proof on me etc. so he can forget about pressing any charges.

I am also the proud owner of a Norwich City football jersey with Chris' number on the back that was given to me by JB of Norwich (who?) and am slowly beginning my collection of Martin Memorabilia.

With all of his new found success though, there are rumours that Manchester United are interested in picking Chris up. We haven't really discussed this as a possibility as we know it will cause great distress for both of us. I don't know if I could handle two break-ups in one year.

I'll now end this ode on a positive note with an audio clip of me and a bunch of my friends singing a song we made up about my British boyfriend. We usually sing it after Chris scores. Enjoy!