The Green Room

The Metro newspaper here, a free Monday to Friday paper (who once slagged me while I was in Edinburgh) has a daily column called "The Green Room". This column is to give readers some daily juice about celebrities but it is quite possibly the worst celebrity gossip I have ever read. Even worse than MSN today. You can tell the guy who writes The Green Room sits at his computer making stuff up. His amazing "facts" are often accomplanied by quotes that have ZERO relation to what they are saying or he tells us stuff that we don't really care about.

Justin Timberlake hates Britney Spears, immigrants, and vegetables. "Yeah", says Timberlake. So watch out girls!

That was OBVIOUSLY a made up example but I have taken a few of The Green Room's best "facts" just to show you how bad they actually are.

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Sir Elton John is at the centre of a tussle between Westlife and G4, who both want him to record a duet with them. Sir Elton hopes to 'please both boybands' a source said

Oasis claim they'll be shocked if their greatest hits album sells because most fans already have all the tracks. Liam said: 'The record label said it was time we did it.'

Despite pictures showing Michael Jackson wearing a wig, insiders insist the singer has 'a full head of hair'.

Heavyweight Bernard Manning has invited Ricky Gervais to appear at his club. 'If he dares we'll put him on,' says Manning.

Despite his huge gong collection, Will Young hates awards shows. 'It's like a form of torture as they don't always tell you the result in advance so you sit there with a grimace on for hours,' he said.

Former tomboy Avril Lavigne has hit back at critics of her new glamorous look. 'It's still me under all this bleach and make-up,' she claimed.

Genuine newlyweds Sir Elton John and David Furnish are already planning what to do to celebrate their first anniversary.

Halle Berry claims Cat Woman was not a flop. 'I still get people asking me to sign posters of it,' she said.

Worst. Celebrity. News. Ever.