"Think Before You Send"

That was the title of an article I read in the paper today.

I hope you've woken up from your coma by now. Yes, I did say I read the paper. Just the free one though.

The article was about a new book that is coming out in the UK that is set to soar to the top of the UK book charts. The book is called, "Send: The How, Why, When - and When Not- of Email". It discusses the "netiquette" of sending emails.

Now I agree that writing emails is an important skill. Especially crucial school or work emails. For example, I once sent an email to a sister of mine telling her that I thought her new bestseller was sh*t. What I MEANT to say was that I thought her new bestseller was THE sh*t. An email error that caused confusion. I also once emailed a University professor of mine and asked her for a two day extension. What I MEANT to say was that I thought she was ugly. Again, email confusion. Perhaps if I had better "netiquette" I would have gotten that damn extension.

So yes, emails are important, but the advice that was highlighted in the article I read today was not what I would consider to be bestseller material. I have written it again for your enjoyment. Please note that my comments follow them. I couldn't resist.

DO's

1. Do consider whether tricky subjects are best dealt with face-to-face or by telephone.
Agreed. "Mom, I love you" - Email. "Mom, do you have ten bucks I can borrow?" - Face-to-face.

2. Do remember to be careful with spell checkers.
I also agree on this won. Those thigns can be triky fkers.

3. Do make any request early in an email - you can't assume people will make it to the end.
Once, in an email I...ahhh who cares?!? You've all probably stopped reading by now anyways. Damn MTV generation....

4. Do use "emoticons" - or smileys such as :)
Do??? Is that actually in the DO list??? You can't make this stuff up. This is hilarious. ;)

5. Do think before you press the send button.
I wish I would have read this before I ordering the entire 2002 Team Canada Olympic Men's Hockey bobble heads off of Ebay. Mom, can I borrow ten bucks???

Don'ts

1. Don't write anything you would be embarrassed for others to see.
If I followed this rule, I wouldn't send emails. In fact, this blog wouldn't exist. My life is a walking embarrassment. I want to share it with the world.

2. Don't "reply all" on a round-robin email.
This is retarded. If you get sent a cute little bear that sends a friendship hug then this should be passed on. In fact, it is your duty. Reply all, dammit. I just want to be loved. Even if it is from a cartoon bear in an email from my colleagues. Plus, I'm hilarious. I know that people will want me to reply all so they can read my funny comments and responses such as "hahahahahahaha good one Kel!" and "omg! 2 much!!!".

3. Don't send insulting emails ("HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE DONE THAT?!!!!)
Ok. They got me there. That IS pretty insulting.

4. Don't use abbreviations people might not know. Eg BTW (by the way).
BTW, if u dnt no wht dis sez thn dnt 4get dis 1 thing... u r a loser n i h8 u.

5. Don't write "please" or "thanks". This can sound hectoring. Use "pls" and "thx".
As if this person actually knows what the word "hectoring" means. Pls! Oh, and that is also the worst advice I've ever been given.

So there you go bloggers. Please use...sorry...Pls use this advice at your own caution. ;) And good luck sending emails....