THATS's Why Mums shop at Iceland

It's Superbowl Sunday and everyone seems to be talking about food. I have been trying to talk about Peyton, rather than potato chips, but I understand that the snacks are important. Speaking of snacks, this week I found that I was desperate for some chicken wings. I used to live for wings at Uni. I would go to Shoeless Joe's every Tuesday for wing night. Sometimes "Table for one". Actually, a lot of times, "Table for one". Don't judge. They would give me a personal tv and let me watch the Oilers alone in a corner with my framed photo of Ryan Smyth sitting next to me. He was always a cheap date - he would only ever order a side salad. (How did I have friends in University???? I'm weird!!!!! I digress...)

But you wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find chicken wings over here. A fact about the UK that distresses me. I had them once at the Sports Cafe (the American bar) and they were awful - but at least they were wings. I was hoping to eat them this week in honour of the football but they were no where to be found. I searched in all of the grocery stores to find some frozen wings that would be oven-ready. Fruitless. Some might even say meatless. I prefer gutless.

My last resort was "Iceland", the grocery store that is advertised on the telly by a non-famous British "celebrity" who always talks about the frozen goods on sale and ends the advert by saying, "And that's why mum's shop at Iceland." So I walk into this "grocery" store and realize that it is just a huge freezer with bags of frozen dog and cat meat with fancy names like "meat pie" and "chicken fingers". They only sell disgusting frozen foods for embarrassingly low prices. I thought I was going to be shot by the Iceland clientele but luckily I had just come back from the gym and my body odor allowed me to fit in. I walk to the back of the store and...LUCKY ME!!! I find a bag of hot 'n'spicy wings for one pound 50.

Did I buy them? Yes.

Did I cook them? Yes.

Do I regret it? Yes.